I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
