Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
