1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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