Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
