You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
