There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Text me some of your sweat
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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