Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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