I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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