But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
