He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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