Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
