And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
