hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
