so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
