you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
