Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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