help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
