Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
