Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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