I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
