Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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