don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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