i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
