apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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