There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
