physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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