it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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