problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
