Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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