she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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