So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
