You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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