It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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