i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
