BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
