so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
wanna go halves on a baby?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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