I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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