4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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