for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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