It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
