O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
