Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
