me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
