I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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