I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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