how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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