The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
