My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
