i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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