I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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