all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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