I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
