TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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