He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm too high and old for this...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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