u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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