Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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