God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
is wine microwaveable?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
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I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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