Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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