And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
