There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
