I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
