that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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