did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
we're so committed to being not committed
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
