the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
