Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
