idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
