Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize