erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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