Banned from zoo.
Again?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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